The Crazy Catchup Post

Life has been out of control lately. Here's the update:

Back in August, Aharon was having severe back muscle spasms. He was almost constantly in pain and could barely move. He went to a nearby doctor who told him he was just overworking himself and that his muscles would eventually adjust to his new job. In the mean time, she recommended that he take it easy after work and maybe get the occasional massage to help the muscles relax. She prescribed him flexeril and motrin 800. Neither even made a small difference in the pain. Eventually, his back started to feel better except for some occasional pain that he had experienced before. We figured it was all because of long hours at work and adjusting to a new mattress.

Then, one Sunday in September, Aharon woke up with terrible joint pain and a low grade fever. He said he felt like he had the flu, although he had no stomach pains, congestion, or sore throat. Although the fever went away later that day (and then occasionally came back only to leave again and never hit 100 degrees), the joint pain only got worse and worse. He would wake up in the morning unable to move. After a couple hours, he'd have some mobility back, but he just wasn't his normal old self. This continued all through September and into October. Finally, when the pain made its way into his knuckles, shoulders, and returned to his back, I took him to my doctor. (I've been seeing her for almost 10 years...she is great!)

After almost an hour of gathering family history and talking about all his different symptoms, we had a few suspicions, including the following:

• Rheumatoid Arthritis
  
• Lyme Disease
• Lupus
• Polymyalgia Rheumatica (rare in someone in their 20's, but it has happened before)
  

She decided to do blood work looking for all of those possibilities and really for anything that blood could reveal. In the mean time, though, she decided that polymyalgia was the most likely culprit and started him on prednisone, saying that a fast, complete disappearance of his symptoms would most likely confirm autoimmune. She also gave him meloxicam in case the prednisone didn't help. Within 2 days on predisone, he felt almost completely better. The back pain was still there, but we figured the back pain was its own problem and not related to his other symptoms.

A few days later, his blood work came back. He was negative for RA, lyme, and antinuclear antibodies. He didn't even have a high SED rate, indicating that his body wasn't suffering from any type of inflammation. The only thing unusual was a high count of strep antibodies. Our doctor decided to change her focus away from autoimmune (which she'd started treatment for) and instead consider rheumatic fever or a strep infection in the joints. She instructed him to finish the prednisone and then begin a full round of penicillin. She also gave him a higher dose of flexeril for his back figuring that it was work-related instead of another symptom.

Within three days of coming off the prednisone, his pain had completely returned. After a few days, he returned to the doctor because the pain was worse than before and he had been having bouts of small chest pains. She gave him another round of prednisone, this time keeping him on an extremely high dose for almost a week, and drew more blood. Those tests would show that the strep antibodies had decreased, but weren't gone. She decided a echo cardiogram was necessary to rule out rheumatic fever. (The echo revealed nothing unusual.) She also referred him to a rheumatologist, and told us she figured polymyalgia but wanted a rheumatologist to make the final call.

Last Wednesday, Aharon went to the appointment. He had been sent a packet of paperwork to complete before the exam. It had gone into extreme detail about family health history, current symptoms, medications that had been tested and how he had felt with the different medications, and all of his blood work results.

The doctor spent under 10 minutes in the room with Aharon. She flipped through his paperwork and asked him a few questions about being depressed. She then poked his knees, chest, and back in a few areas. She then announced that he had fibromyaliga, gave him a script for an anticonvulsant and for an antidepressant and told him to come back in 3 weeks. When he questioned her diagnosis and pointed out the strep antibodies in his blood and his fast reaction to prednisone, she told him that strep antibodies aren't ever a cause for concern if you don't feel sick, and that any problem will react well to prednisone for a short time. (He was on prednisone for almost a month! That's not a short time.)

I'm very skeptical. While there is some medical documentation of "fibromyalgia" responding to prednisone, I believe that to accept that research you also have to accept that fibromyalgia is, in fact, an autoimmune disorder. If it is an autoimmune disorder, why do doctors almost exclusively prescribe medications that work with your brain and not with your immune system the way prednisone does? There are too many issues here. Secondly, how often do you hear of males in their 20s being diagnosed with fibromyalgia? And on top of that, how often do you hear that diagnosis after the first visit? Fibromyalgia is notoriously difficult to diagnose. It seems to me that she just didn't want to put any work into his case.

Long story short, we did not fill the prescriptions. The next few weeks will be spent gathering all of his medical records from the various doctors he's seen about this problem, and then we will be attempting to get an appointment with a rheumatologist with Henry Ford Hospital. I'd trust Henry Ford Hospital over Port Huron Hospital any day.

Unfortunately, this all falls at a terrible time. We are almost to our insurance deductible for the year, and the year is about to end. That means more bills next year. I have to attend the ATA show for work in a couple of weeks, and I'll be gone for a full week. This pushes the time frame for a doctor's appointment back farther, because I insist on attending with him.

So hopefully we'll have a concrete, believable answer soon enough and a treatment plan for Aharon. Our busy season at work is quickly approaching, and Aharon will go from 27 to 32 hours a week to 45 to 54 hours a week. This all began when he was working short 27 hour weeks. I don't know how he'll make it through long weeks.

I'm ready for the new year to get here.

Really?

I do not understand mothers who feed their children organic food and soy and who have never let their kid have even a drop of sugar, but if their kid gets a cough, they rush to the doctor begging for antibiotics.

Really?!

Attention world!

Perhaps Aharon and I would like to enjoy our holidays and weekends at home.

Just a thought.

Adventures in Sarahland

This weekend, from Friday through Sunday, I was blessed with not having to deal with school. I didn't even have to think about it. Nope, not even a little tiny bit. So to celebrate, I stayed as far away from my laptop as possible. This is when the fun sets in.

I'm sure most everyone is familiar with distribution lists. If you have a job with email or attend a school with email, you are no doubt part of a distribution list. In case you aren't familiar, I'll explain: a distribution list is an email address within a domain (in this situation @sienaheights.edu) that an administrator can add certain contacts to manually or by using specific criteria. In this case, the distribution list in question contained all of Siena Heights University's seniors.

We still haven't gotten an official announcement yet from the school as to what exactly happened, but here are the facts as they occured:

• Thursday Night: I get an email to join a group in Facebook for SHU seniors. I'm in the network and my graduation year is set, so anybody in SHU's network on Facebook can see that I'm a senior. Not difficult. I don't care, so I delete the email. No doubt this request/email goes out to other Facebook users.
  
  
• Saturday Night: Somebody, presumably an employee at Siena Heights, decides to use the seniors' distribution list email to create a Facebook account, perhaps to have something to do with the previously mentioned Facebook group. This was obviously not thought through, since the emails to said email address will go to every singe SHU senior. This is confirmed when a ton of people get an email confirming that our Facebook account has been set up.
  

Corollary: At this point, a few seconds of thinking (that's not even an entire minute) will lead someone to realize what has happened here, and that the best course of action is to simply delete the email. The person in question will figure out what they did and correct the problem, and life will go on. I delete said email and close the laptop.

• Sunday Afternoon: Although I do not have school to worry about, I decide to check my email. I open my laptop and my gmail notifier politely informs me that I have 43 unread emails. This is amazingly high! I open up gmail and find 43 emails from other SHU students who thought the best course of action was to reply to the email they received from Facebook stating one of the following things: I don't have facebook and don't want it, please remove me from this list, this is a work email and I don't appreciate all the emails, etc.
  
  
• Sunday Night: Someone sends the following email: "Could people stop replying to , I don't need 100 emails a day from people complaining about getting 100 emails themselves." A nice attempt, really, but the general public is stupid and unless they fully understand why, they won't stop.
  
  
• Monday Morning: Case in point, I have 10 more emails when I get to work at 7 this morning. One is from Facebook, confirming the deletion of the account that started this whole disaster (this marks the milestone of 2 emails from Facebook sent to this address and thus all of SHU's seniors). SHU has obviously corrected the problem. However, the distribution list still exists, and as people arrive at work on Monday and start checking their emails, they start replying all the way back at the beginning of this disaster. After receiving about 20 more emails, I send out the following:
  Subject: Everybody stop replying to any email you get
  "Look, this isn't a hard concept. Somebody created a Facebook account using the email address which is an email address that forward to SHU students. Every time you reply to these emails or to anyone who replied to one of those emails, you're sending the email out to other people. Actual emails from Facebook accounted for 2 messages. The other 50 some were because everyone wouldn't just ignore the messages. They've obviously corrected the problem because the Facebook account has been deleted. So if everybody could just use their brains and ignore the emails and STOP REPLYING, then nobody would have a ton of unwanted emails in their inbox.
  Simple concept. STOP REPLYING!!!! Delete and carry on with your life."
  
  
• 5 minutes later on Monday Morning: One lone email, sent to me only, stating the following: "You should run for President."
  

Money Matters!

I have been thinking a lot lately. About two things. One's no big and deal and the other - I think - is a very big deal.

First of all, I am appalled by Obama's Nobel Peace Prize. However, I am not surprised. Former winners include Al Gore and Jimmy Carter. Seriously? As far as I'm concerned, it's a terrible insult to win such an award since it seems to favor misinformed individuals. And also socialism. That's all I'm saying on the matter.

Secondly and more importantly, why is everyone treating the phrase "Everyone's on a budget now" like that is a bad thing? Budgeting is good. Money management is good. Why does America have to act like this is such a terrible thing that Americans are budgeting and saving and paying down debt?!

My parents put a lot of effort into teaching me about money. We had these cool little banks from Money Matters (Crown Financial Ministries) that were divided into three sections. The first was a church for us to deposit our tithes. The second was a bank for us to deposit our savings. The third was a store for us to deposit our savings. When we got our allowance or babysitting money or birthday money, my parents would show us how to count it, how to figure out 10%, and then would make change for us if necessary so that we could deposit the appropriate amounts. When we were going shopping, our parents would get the money in the "store" section out for us to take with us. Sometimes, we spent it. Sometimes we didn't. When we didn't spend it, we'd get the option when we got home of putting it back into the store or putting some - or all - of it into the bank. It was a lot of fun.

Once we started to get older, mom would take us into the credit union with her so we could deposit money into our accounts. When I turned 16, mom took me to the credit union to help me open a checking account. For the first few months, until I got the hang of it, she would sit down with me once a week to make sure I was balancing correctly and then we'd go over the entire month when my statement came in the mail.

At 18, she made me an authorized user on her credit card. A few months after that, I got my own credit card and started fully taking responsibility for my finances.

Before gas prices skyrocketed to $3 and $4 a gallon, Aharon and I were making pretty good money. We didn't have car payments or car insurance to pay. Just cell phones, gas in our cars, savings, tithes, and spending.

I wouldn't say I had a shopping problem at that point in my life, but I definitely spent more than I needed to. Never too much, though.

And then, I had to buy a car. And with that came a car payment and car insurance. Shortly after that, Aharon had to buy a car, too. So we sat down and did up nice individual budgets. Aharon always stuck with his much better than I did. Mainly, though, because he was 99% cash and I was only about 5% cash. I prefered keeping my cash in the bank and a credit card in my purse. Aharon hated that idea, so he did the opposite.

When we got engaged, Aharon was unemployed. We sat down and worked out a budget that we could get by on with him on unemployment. That budget is the one we use now with just a few modifications. (Our rent is less than we planned; we set up a health savings account and contribute to that weekly) We are also making more money than we planned on. The extra money at the end of the month is certainly a welcome blessing.

Combining two people who were raised very differently in regards to money makes for some interesting opinions. I've definitely enjoyed it.

I guess the point I'm driving at here is that Aharon and I have been incredibally blessed lately. And I think part of that reason is because we're being careful and responsible. We have a budget. We use it.

So why does most of the world see that as unfortunate?

And the worst mother of the year award goes to...

On her son, who is suspected in 50 break-ins over the last 18 months and is now suspected in three small aircraft thefts:

His mother said she doesn't see anything wrong with what he's suspected of doing.

"I hope to hell he stole those airplanes — I would be so proud," Pam Kohler told a reporter, noting her son's lack of training. "But put in there that I want him to wear a parachute next time."

I don't like making decisions

The owner of the company I previously worked for called me yesterday. He offered me a twist of my old job back. Apparently their IT system has collapsed since I've been gone. I can't say I'm surprised at all. Their outside company really didn't know what was going on, and when I left they had nobody internally who knew anything about computers. So they definitely want me back to work with the network system. Also, Bill, the marketing guy who I totally miss working with, has taken on a lot of government projects and needs help with the organization and logistics of it all. So where my old job was IT/Office Administration/Design & Marketing, my new job would be IT/Design & Marketing/Government research and paperwork.

I have to say I did not expect them to ever try to get me back. I had made up my mind about leaving and I left for very specific reasons, such as the following:

• Drastically underpaid for 2 years. While I don't have an IT degree, the State median for a network administrator is more than double what I was being paid.
  
• Despite telling my boss that I had commitments in Port Huron that I could not change, I was forced to work in Madison Heights every Friday. And by work I mean sit at a desk and answer maybe 3 phone calls. This required about 80 additional miles of driving on Fridays because after driving to and from Madison Heights I had to go to and from Port Huron anyway. Oh, and they reimbursed mileage at $0.32 a mile. When this was all going on, gas was hovering around $3.75 - $4.25 a gallon.
  
• Stress. I only had one single vacation/sick day where I did not receive at least one phone call from work. And ironically enough, it was on the day I interviewed for the job I have now. Even after going home from work one morning with a terrible migraine, I got 2 phone calls and 14 text messages from work. Different people, different problems. None of them urgent. And I was sick!
• Unfair policies. The other office had a receptionist. (That was originally my job at the office I was at.) She made twice what I made and did about a tenth of the work. She also wore whatever she wanted to work to sit behind a desk all day. I once wore jeans because I knew I'd be on the floor under a computer most of the day, and I got yelled at for my "unprofessional-ism."
• A ton of overtime. I once worked 65 hours in a week. Twenty-four of those hours were straight. Thirty-five of them were either between 5 pm and 8 am or on Saturday or Sunday. I received not a single penny of time and a half. Straight pay only. Because they had me classified as "administrative" and they are exempt from required time and a half. [Side note: I'm "administrative" at my current job, and I get time and a half for overtime.]
  
• Holidays. We worked Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, the day after Thanksgiving, and Good Friday. I don't work any of those days now.
  

The job did have a few perks that my current job doesn't, such as the following:

• Christmas bonus. We don't get them here, but I got one every year at my old job. And it doubled every year. If this year were to follow that pattern, it would be two weeks' pay.
• More vacation time. If I was still at that job, I'd be 8 months away from being entitled to 4 weeks of vacation time a year. Right now, I get 1 week. I'll get 3 weeks in another 2 years.

They did offer me a pay raise with the new job. It's a 20% raise, but even that is still about 50% less than the State low wage for the job description.

Plus, my current job has a lot of perks that my old job didn't have such as the following:

• Much better insurance. I'm currently paying out of my check half of what I was paying for health insurance at my old job. At my old job, it was for health insurance only for me only. And it was crappy health insurance at that. Right now, paying half of what I was paying, I have outstanding health insurance for myself and Aharon with a contraceptive/fertility rider (which has already saved us over $2,000 since April), vision and dental for myself and Aharon, and disability and life for myself.
  
• Discounts. We get outrageous discounts on our products. Such good discounts, in fact, that Aharon is going to take up bow hunting and we are helping my Uncle get a new bow for a very low price. We also get free sweatshirts, t-shirts, and hats. Which is awesome. Especially since...
• The dress code here is relaxed. We are encouraged to wear our G5 and Quest clothing. Jeans are acceptable. Tennis shoes are everywhere. I've never seen a single skirt, tie, or suit coat.
  
• Every quarter, if we didn't call in at all (vacation days don't count), we get a $50 gift card. It's not much but it's a pretty easy $200 a year.
• The cool factor. Among my friends, it's cooler to work for G5 than an environmentalist group.

I do have to admit, I really miss the design work. I loved having something that I spend hours or days on be admired by so many people. I totally miss that. But would I give up what I have here for that little bit of happiness? I mean, without that, I can focus my design energies on church stuff. I really like working on that.

On the other hand, I love working here with Aharon. It's nice having the same office politics to discuss and both knowing what's going on with the company. Plus, they hired him at my request. He's a great employee and they like him, but part of the incentive to keep him is gone if I leave. Then they only have him to upset, not him and me.

Internal Conflict Ramblings

When did people get so self-absorbed? I mean, I know that we are sinful and that vanity is a very big problem in this country, but I'm talking about full-out "I'm the best person in the world" sorta stuff?

I've been having a lot of internal conflicts recently. Most of them center around one particular couple, and I do not care to make this information public. However, I've got to get my thoughts out there so they don't just bounce around in my head all the time.

I feel like as we (as people!) mature, ourselves should become less and less important. We get married, and our spouse becomes a ...responsibility, I guess, although in a good way. And then we have kids and there's even more responsibility, although in a totally different way.

And yet, I see so many people who are going through some of the "maturing" process and yet seem to be regressing in other areas. And it totally frustrates me to the point where I don't even want to associate with certain people anymore.

The worst of it is that I don't want to be considered judgmental. I try really hard to avoid that label, but I don't feel like I can sit around and act all approving of people whose decisions and actions I do not approve of. I tried really hard, and I even thought I did for a while, but I'm starting to realize I was forcing myself for the sake of others.

So I guess what I'm saying in a totally cryptic way (and no, I will not elaborate) is that I'm done. I'm not okay with the choices you are making, the way you spend your money, and the way you treat family who try very hard to love and support you. It's not an easy task. You're asking for a lot by expecting us to be happy and proud. There's not much for us to be happy about and enjoy judging by the way you're off in your own little world all of the sudden but still expect your family to provide everything for you. What happened to "control yourself; take only what you need from it"? And what's worse is that you had made progress. But then it was like you woke up one morning and decided to screw everyone who loves and cares and supports. You're going to do it your own way whether you fall flat on your face or not. And yet, when you do fall, you'll be back asking for someone else to get you by.

I refuse to be temporary support. Either you want me involved or you don't. Your actions of late say you don't, so let it be.

It will be hard, because I was very excited and full of love.

But I will not be used.

Pros and Cons

Saturday afternoon, Aharon and I went to our friends Jamie and Clare's wedding. We were excited for the wedding but also for the chance to catch up with some friends. Long story short, the reception seating was assigned. So, we invited the friends over instead.

However, I've been major slacking lately and my tiny little apartment was a huge mess.

We got a little bit of a head start, and 45 minutes after arriving home, I had accomplished all of the following:

• Washed, dried, and put away 3 days worth of dishes
• Emptied all 4 trashes and took them to the dumpster
• Swept the kitchen floor
• Vacuumed the rugs and bedroom carpet
• Wiped down the shower
• Scrubbed down the toilet
• Cleaned the kitchen and bathroom sinks
• Disinfected the kitchen and bathroom counters
• Cleaned the dust off the bathroom spacesaver
• Cleaned the bathroom and bedroom mirrors
• Dusted the electronics in the living room
  
• Made the bed
• Put away all the clean laundry and picked up dirty laundry from the bedroom floor
• Febreezed the living room carpet
• Lit 2 candles
• Filed about 20 "explanation of benefits" letters from mine and Aharon's countless trips to various doctors over the last 6 weeks

Tiny apartments ROCK!

Kill me now.

I found out last night that my class that starts this week - my very first class of my senior year of college, my very first 400 level class - is being taught by a professor I've already had.

We had to write a group research paper the last time I had her. We have to do that again this semester. My group would have gotten a perfect score, except that we lost a full letter grade for word usage. Not incorrect words. Not inappropriate words. Just words that had a better substitute. Like we used "show" instead of "demonstrate" and "teach" instead of "instruct." Is that legal?

So now, on top of working earlier, driving to Royal Oak twice a week, and the uncomfortableness that is my physical therapy, I'll be going through the next 8 weeks worrying about my word usage!

Ugh.

I am now in physical therapy two times a week. I'm not sure I'm comfortable talking about why I'm in physical therapy on the Internet, so I'm not going to. But if you personally want to know, I'm okay with sharing the gruesome details. Long story short, after my first appointment yesterday - which was mostly to meet my therapist and get a feel for how this is all going to work - I found out that not only will this correct the problem that I originally started seeking treatment for, but it will also correct 2 problems I've had my entire life and never connected to this issue as well as 1 more recent problem that I also never connected. So basically, in 6 to 8 weeks time, I'll be cured of 4 unpleasant problems!

Anyway, because of the rarity of this particular treatment, there are only 3 physical therapists who treat it within a 4 hour drive of my house. All 3 of them are at Beaumont Health Center in Royal Oak. Royal Oak!!

So, on Mondays and Wednesdays I have to go in to work at 7 a.m. so that I can leave at 3:30 and drive down to Royal Oak. My appointment is at 5 and I'm out of there at 6. If traffic is decent, I get home around 7 or 7:15 p.m. I then have to make and eat dinner and do homework.

Why can't Aharon make dinner? Because he's currently working until 8 p.m. every weeknight.

To make my life easier, I've had to sort of plan out dinners ahead of time. I used to just throw together whatever was around because it didn't matter if dinner took an hour or two to make. But there's no way we can eat dinner at 9 or 10 p.m. Especially when I have to be up the next morning by 7 at the latest.

One of the perks of both of us working in the hunting industry despite the fact that neither of us hunt is that my freezer has about 15 pounds of ground venison in it. I checked out some venison-specific recipes online, and none of them sounded that awesome. So I'm making my own dinners using the venison as a substitute for ground beef.

Here's my meal plan for now:

Tuesday, August 25: chicken and rice casserole
Wednesday, August 26 (Wipeout night!): fajita style chicken with fried jasmine rice and onions
Thursday, August 27: spaghetti with venison meatballs
Friday, August 28: BBQ venison (Also, I need to make 6 loaves of banana bread for people at work who are giving us even more venison!)
Saturday, August 29: baked salami bagels for lunch; Clare and Jamie's wedding for dinner (hahaha, that sounds funny!)

Sunday, August 30: teriyaki chicken stir fry for lunch; brinner (breakfast for dinner. in this case, scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes)
Monday, August 31: Pork Roast and mashed potatoes
Tuesday, September 1: sloppy venison joes and baked potato chunks
Wednesday, September 2 (Wipeout night!): venison dogs (chili dogs but it's left over sloppy venison joe mix, thus venison dogs) and left over baked potato chunks
Thursday, September 3: New York Strip Steak and scalloped potatoes
Friday, September 4: Cheeseburgers and corn on the cob
Saturday, September 5: Pig Roast at Nick's!

Higher Education is funny

Aharon's at home with a totally spazzing back. I'm not sure what he did, but the guy almost always has back pain, but I've never seen him in quite as much pain as he was in this morning. Luckily, work for him today was kind of optional. And even more luckily, his health insurance card arrived on Thursday. So he's home until around 2 and then he's going to the doctor...for like the first time in years with the exception of when he burned all the skin off his elbow last winter.

Anyway, I'm sitting at work right now with a pot of coffee and a 20 ounce bottle of coke. The coffee is to warm me up and wake me up, since it's freezing in this building. I also didn't sleep well all weekend thanks to being home alone most of Friday (Aharon was at a bachelor party until 5:30 am), a huge thunderstorm Saturday night (we're talking constant lightening and thunder from about midnight until around 4 am), and a small thunderstorm Sunday night coupled with Aharon flopping around trying to get comfortable despite all the pain he was in.
The coke (I normally drink diet) is to hopefully settle my stomach, which is full of unhappiness that should have been gone by now. (TMI: birth control. Doctor said it would take 3 months to really feel the effects. I'm going on 4 months and do not feel any better.)

But the point of my post is really this: college and why people hate me/I hate myself.

I had a class that started one week before my wedding. Stress management, ironically enough. Right away I found out I had to do a book report (because apparently senior in college equals fifth grade) and write a paper about past experiences with stressful times. The paper was due while I was on my honeymoon, so I sat down right away and did it. I can't say I put a lot of effort into it. I got a perfect score on it.

So I slacked a little. I went on my honeymoon. I came home and picked up my book for my report from the library. It sat untouched on my kitchen table for about 3 weeks. Then I realized I had two weeks to do the four-page paper. I read the first 3 pages of the book and then set it aside.

One week later, I read about nine random pages, then set out to write the report. I spend about twenty minutes writing it on Monday, and then about 15 minutes finishing it up on Tuesday. Including reading time, I probably put about 2 hours into the entire project. Aharon was upset with me for not taking school seriously. (I never have, though. He knew this before the wedding!) I told him that the wedding made me slack and that I'd do better next semester.

I got my paper back Saturday night.

I got a 100%.

Aharon = furious.
Sarah = a little disappointed that I was basically rewarded for being the biggest slacker-who-is-still-a-straight-A-student in the history of the school.

I want to get a degree. I want to learn. I just don't want to do homework or learn about stress or read books.

It's not my fault that school comes naturally to me. Ask my mom, if I would have put even a slight effort into high school, I easily could have been top of my class. Instead I slacked off and graduated fourth. I was thrilled about that, but I knew I could have done better.

I guess I just don't have any motivation.

That's why I want to go to law school. I think it's the one thing that would actually provide a challenge to me and be interesting at the same time! I may actually put some effort into law school. 'May' being the key word, here, though. Because after I graduated magna cum laude and not summa cum laude when I earned my Associates, I said I would actually apply myself at Siena. That clearly hasn't happened.

Cold?

I would just like to say that never once during the winter did I say anything about wanting it to be warm outside, being anxious for summer to get here, or anything else like that.

So I feel that I have no problem saying this:

1. I hate summer.
2. I can not wait until winter.
3. Fall is okay, but the allergens are pretty bad. The cool weather is nice, though.
4. Is it winter yet?
5. How much longer until winter?

Married Life

I am the biggest slacker in the world. It's been like a month and a half since I posted anything. So, here goes.

As you all know, Aharon and I got married on July 3rd. Things have been great ever since, although adjusting to my new life has been interesting. I used to stay up late - until around 11:30 or midnight, and then roll out of bed at 7 a.m. and make it to work at 8. After work, I'd spend a little time with Aharon, do some homework, watch some tv, and eventually go to sleep. Now, my days are more like this.

5:15 a.m. - Wake up. Get Aharon up. Make breakfast, coffee, and pack lunches.
5:50 a.m. - Kiss Aharon goodbye. Go back to bed, even though I know I should play Wii Fit or do some homework or clean the bathroom.
7:15 a.m. - Wake up again. Get dressed. Grab my lunch. Go to work.
4:40 p.m. - Arrive home from work. It's a 50/50 chance that Aharon has been home since 4 or won't be home until 5 or 6. Regardless, I start dinner.
5:30 or 6:00 p.m. - Eat dinner. Clean up. Wash dishes.
7:00 p.m. - School.
9:00 p.m. - Watch an hour of TV and/or clean something.
10/10:30/11:00 p.m. - Bed

So that's what I've been doing for two and half weeks right now. Married life is great but I need more sleep!! Also that going back to bed thing is probably killing me.

Liana

I have a niece! (Well, on July 3rd I will have a niece, but I don't freaking care, she's my niece now!)

Sharaya (Aharon's little sister) had her baby! Liana June Marie Roach was born Monday, June 15th at 2:26 p.m. She was 9 pounds, 6 ounces, and 21.5 inches long. (She's exactly one day old!)

Although Sharaya and I did not always have a good relationship, I have been working hard since about February to try and fix that. Yes, I was in her wedding, but I still wouldn't have considered us close at that time. It really wasn't until February when it basically hit me that she was going to have that baby and that she would then be my niece. I was going to have a niece. I did my best to try and make things right with Sharaya. Unfortunately, I can't go back in time to when we met five years ago and be her friend then. Although if I could, things may not be like they are today and I wouldn't want to lose that.

I always knew that I wanted to be as close as possible for the birth, but I never thought Sharaya would want me right there. (I'm not even sure if she knew what she wanted to do until it was time!) I did my best to be available for her over the last few weeks, and on Sunday when she headed to the hospital, I headed up too. She did not end up having the baby that night, and I went home. Maybe I should have stayed, but I didn't. She was set to be induced at 6 a.m. Monday morning, and I arrived in her room at 5:55 a.m. on Monday morning. We were in that room all day. We had hoped for a baby by noon, but she wasn't ready. At 2 p.m., it was time to start pushing.

Sharaya and I had talked a little during the day about me being in the room. I kind of wanted to, but I have a weak stomach for smells (but nothing else) and wasn't sure I'd be of any help. But I'm also good with being rock solid emotionless when necessary. When the nurse needed somebody to hold a leg, Sharaya said I could do it, so I did.

And let me just end with this, when Liana was born, the amazing feeling that followed is truly unforgettable. I've always wondered how parents always say they loved the baby so much more when it was born. I've never understood that. Sure, it's your kid, but it just got here. Let its personality grow on you a little. But nope. You don't have to. It just hits you like that. And I'm not even the parent, just an aunt. I can't imagine what it will feel like when it's my own kid.

Sharaya, thank you for allowing me to experience something so amazing with you, Jeremy, and Liana.

Jesus IS watching!

Aharon and I went shopping last night to finish up our wedding and honeymoon shopping. Really, we were only shopping for Aharon since getting him to go is difficult. Thus, we were out shopping in the pouring rain with only 21 days to go. He still needed a dress shirt, belt, sun glasses, shoes, shorts, and a tie. Plus we needed a tie for my dad, Nick, and Aharic. So off we went.

Things were going very smoothly. We left around 5 and by 7 we were on our way back home. About 10 minutes outside of Chesterfield, my phone rings. It's Aharon. I automatically assume he's pocket dialed me and tell him so. He begins looking around for his phone, but doesn't find it. We pull over and get out to search the car. No phone. He decides he must have left it in a fitting room. We get back in the car and turn around.

First I call Old Navy since he was most anxious to get out of there. Nothing's been found. Then I called Kohl's. Same thing. I call his phone again, and there's no answer, but the phone still rings. So it hasn't been shut off. Aharon says to call and shut off service with Verizon, hoping that if someone has it they'll think that it will never work again and will turn it in. Instead, though, I send his phone a text message.

"If you have this phone, please turn it in. We were out shopping for our wedding and don't have the money for an insurance claim. Do the right thing. Jesus is watching."

We get back to Chesterfield and decide to go to Old Navy first. Aharon is almost positive he left it here and figures it's most likely that a kid grabbed it here. We get out of the car and take one step toward the store. But then, I get a text message. From Aharon's phone!

"Kohl's customer service."

I stop walking and say, "I think your phone is at Kohl's...because it just texted me."

So, back in the car and over to Kohl's. We get to customer service and Aharon asks if anyone turned in a cell phone and describes his. The girl asks if we were the people who had called a short while earlier. I tell her yes. She then tells me that while she was on the phone with me, a guy walked into the restroom. A few minutes later, he walked out, slammed the phone down on the counter, and then walked away without saying a word.

I asked her if she had texted us saying it was at Kohl's customer service. She said no - she couldn't even figure out how to get the phone screen to turn on.

All in all, a good day.

Thanks, Jesus!

Yes, He Knows He's Never Lived in New York.

I went down (this is like the first time I've ever said I went down to someplace and then found out that yes indeed, the direction I was traveling in was down!) to Mount Clemens yesterday to get the marriage license.

For anyone who doesn't know, Aharon was born in Canada. This has caused considerable amounts of, well, crap, throughout the last five years. Canada doesn't like that he calls himself an American citizen but then states his birth place as Sarnia. America doesn't like it, either. Apparently they've never met someone born in another country before because you'd think by the look they give us that we were telling them that he was born to a family of prairie dogs or something! He was born with American citizenship, but his social security number was issued through immigration. That means his first three digits correspond to a New York birth. The problem? There's no record of him ever living in New York, but since he was born with citizenship, nobody seems to understand why it all had to go through immigration, either. It makes sense to me, but apparently I'm the only one.

So back to the original point. Because we get so much drama every time we do anything that involves social security numbers or the government in general, I took every single piece of identifying information I could find with me. We're talking birth certificates, passports, consular's report of birth abroad, Canadian birth certificate, driver's licenses, social security cards, and voter's registration. (Aharon couldn't go with me because his allergies were acting up and I knocked him out with a nice dose of Benadryl. Accidentally, of course. I didn't expect him to fall asleep - just to zone out. But nope. Out cold. For like 2 hours.)

And guess what happens when I arrive?! They only piece of identifying information I need to present them with is MY driver's license. Not even anything for Aharon. He didn't even have to sign the form! Only I did. At one point, the girl asked if Memphis was in Macomb county. I told her that we both lived in the half that was in it, and that I had brought voter registration cards to prove it. But she didn't want to see them!

I was perfectly prepared for any obstacle and I encountered none. And honestly, it kind of made me upset. I was ready, and nobody cared!

This Blog Keeps Me Organized! - Updated!

Things accomplished:

1. Invitations are in the mail!
2. Thank You cards from the shower are done and ready to go out this weekend!
3. Aharon's suit is ordered.
4. Honeymoon plans are underway, although not concrete.
   

Things to accomplish:

1. Aharon needs a dress shirt and shoes.
2. All the guys need ties. I plan to accomplish that this weekend.
3. Flowers need to be made. Get back with me the first week in June. Scrap the making flowers. Ordered bulk floral from Sam's Club.
   
4. Hotel for night before and night of wedding needs to be booked.
5. Honeymoon plans need to be finalized.
6. My legs are really white. I should do something about this. I have a buttload of gradual tanner from bath and body works.
   
7. Put together the slide show.
8. Programs!
9. Music for the ceremony and reception.
   
10. Engagement pictures!
    

Non-Wedding related things to accomplish:

1. Car needs touch up paint applied so it looks pretty for the wedding every single day!
2. Car needs to be cleaned like woah. There's dirt from 2007 in it!
3. I have a paper to write. It's due this Saturday...or maybe next Saturday. Either way, I'm writing it on Friday night soon. Because Aharon will be gone so I can have the apartment to myself and write, dang it! I felt the need to clean the entire apartment instead of write my paper.
   
4. My prescription is not generic. I need 3 free months to make up the cost or a new prescription. I have a budget, drug companies!
5. Sign off on Aharon's loan transfer.

The Political Ramblings of Sarah

Here are the things that have me so unbelievable angry at the following topics that I can't concentrate on work until I mention them all so other people can see how asinine our country is now. Thank so much, democrats!

1. If Granholm gets appointed to the Supreme Court, I will be forming my own country. Those interested in joining who did not vote for McCain in the last election need not apply.

2. If a white person made this joke about a black person, they would probably be hanged for hate crimes. In fact, if Limbaugh had made this joke about Wanda, he would no doubt have lost his radio show and been banned from the media in about a 2 hour time frame. But because the joke is about him, it's okay for even Obama (I do not feel the need to refer to him as president until he does something worth it) to laugh.

3. Miss California doesn't believe in you either, Miss Moakler. In fact, she should have won. She lost because she's against gay marriage and that's final. No, I do not care about beauty pageants. I care about stupid, ignorant, sinful people who have places of power in our country because of poor choices they have made.

That's it for now, although I'll probably be back.

Running out of time!

Aharon and I are getting married in 51 days.
Where did the time go?

We still need to finish addressing the invitations and get those out in the mail. My goal is to have those done on Saturday.

After that, I need to focus on shower thank yous. I've heard that those are supposed to go out within 2 weeks. That probably won't happen, but I will do my best.

Once all of that is taken care of, it's time to start on flowers! Yes, some friends and I are going to make paper flowers for the ceremony. It will be cute. Trust me.

Then, it's all the last-minute details. Shoes for Aharon. Ties for the guys. Music for the church and the reception. Programs.

We'll make it. I just hope I don't go crazy by then.

Blessings

Aharon and I had our wedding shower this weekend. Rather than doing one for my family, one for his family, and one for our church family, we did one big shower. (I'm glad we did because I'm running out of weekends!) While it was a bit of a headache to put together, it ended up being wonderful. (Although none of his extended family showed up!)

I have never before felt so blessed and loved. Aharon and I got everything we could possibly need and then some. Our apartment is small - around 350 square feet counting closet space. We went ahead and registered for all the necessities; we knew with the limited space we couldn't really go overboard. But we never thought that every single thing on all three registries would be purchased! And, because Aharon's excellent at visualizing what he's organizing before it's done, everything was put away nicely by him in under 3 hours.

We were a little worried about starting off this way. Neither of us has ever lived away from home, so we didn't have anything that we needed. Aharon was also unemployed until March, so we were concerned about paying for what we were going to have to buy. And with the economy as it is, we didn't expect people to really spend much.

But God had a different idea! In the last three month, Aharon and I were able to purchase - without touching our savings - my wedding dress, a suit for him, new tires for both of our cars, some much needed repairs for his car, a new HDTV, and a bed frame and mattress set. And then the shower provided every single thing we still needed for our apartment!

We are both so thankful.

And once I finish setting up and organizing the bedroom I will get some pictures up! Promise! But right now you do not want to see that disaster area!

I Wonder

Two updates in one day! What is this world coming to?

In high school, I had a few friends at school. Elise, Aharon, Nick, and a few others. But my closest friends were a group of six of us from church. Myself, Kadie, Micah, Jamie, Chelsea, and Vince. We hung out all the time. It was a great time. I had such a blast with them and made some great memories. However, after Jamie and I graduated, we started to fall apart. Vince didn't come around as much, and adding Aharon to the group kind of threw off our previous dynamic. Eventually, Vince all but disappeared, and Jamie started dating Clare. That kind of pulled him from the group, and with Vince around less and it turning into couples, Chelsea faded away, too. Then Micah and Kadie broke up and it was a hard adjustment because my tight group of friends was no longer the same at all. (Except myself and Kadie) But, life goes on and new groups of friends were made.

On Saturday, Vince's dad died unexpectedly.

Today I went to the funeral home. It was strange to see Vince again. It's probably been 2 years since I saw him and 3 years since we really talked at all. But it was nice, despite the circumstances. It reminded me that life is short and unexpected. And the memories we make and the friends we meet on the way are important in their own time. I can't imagine what Vince is going through, and I wish we were still close and that I could say or do something to help.

Some of the best memories I have of youth group and high school are memories made with Vince and the rest of our group. I only hope that he has memories of his dad that he can reflect on. I know it's not the same, but a memory is better than nothing at all.

He strengthens and sustains, He guards and He guides...You can't outlive Him and you can't live without Him. That's my King!

Moving is a little more painful that it is stressful

I've heard that three of the most stressful events in life are getting married, moving, and having a baby. I'm working on two of the three (I'm not having a baby). While the wedding planning is a slow process that I wish would just go away, the moving part is front and center right now.

Aharon and I have rented a small, one bedroom apartment in Memphis. Aharon has moved in for now as has most of my stuff. Myself and the remainder of my stuff will follow after we're married. It's amazing how well our stuff fits into that apartment. It's almost like the apartment was built around our stuff. Sure, it could be bigger. I could certainly put more space to use. But, it will do. And the fact that our current budget has us ready to buy a house with a 12.5% down payment in July of 2011 is AWESOME. It's totally a God-thing! :)

So anyway, Aharon and I - with the help of some awesome friends/family (My mom, Kadie, Chris, Nick, and Aharic) - got about 90% of Aharon's things and 50% of my things to the apartment this week, with the majority of it happening on Saturday. Aharon was originally scheduled to work 6 am to 3 pm Friday and Saturday, but due to parts not coming in, he got out at 10 on Friday and had Saturday off. Not so great for our budget (although it was all overtime that we don't actually account for in our budget) but very good for getting things done.

Some parts were stressful. I still don't know where his Harry Potter box set is or where my crazy-large 90's and early 2000's CD collection is going to go. But overall, it was just painful! It hurts to stand up and walk around. I made the mistake of laying down on the couch and watching TV with my parents last night. I told them it would be like 15 minutes tops. An hour and a half later, I had to force myself to stand up and oh, did it hurt!

This is why I hate higher education!

Every single day for the last two weeks has had something going on. About 95% of it is wedding/marriage related. We finally looked at apartments. The first one is a nice, spacious two bedroom. It really could rival a small house in the area. It's affordable, but not comfortably. Plus we are concerned about the employment situation. Aharon's job at G5 with me is technically a seasonal job. I think if they can avoid laying him off they will, but we don't want to just bank on that happening. The second one is tiny. Like really, really tiny. But it's dirt cheap. However, we won't be able to take all of our furniture with us, and having friends over will be difficult. There's just not enough room. Luckily we can store whatever doesn't fit at his parent's house. But it just feels strange to me to move and not take everything with me.

When Aharon and I sit down and talk about it, the small one definitely makes sense and sounds like the best option. But then as the day or night goes on and I spend time thinking about it, I start to get a little panicked. It's very tiny! I want to be able to have friends over and feel like it's home. I just don't know if that will happen at this place.

I'm going to try to go back to the small place tonight and take some measurements and then get all geeky and do some 3D floor plans. Plus I want my mom to see it. She's lived in a tiny apartment before and then moved into our very large house, so she'll have a better idea of what can be done and what can't. Maybe she'll say there's no way we can make it work. And if so, two bedroom here we come!

Aharon and I agreed last night that we both feel like we're trying to sell the other person on the apartment of our choice. He likes the small one, I like the big one. It's a little entertaining.

So now, back to the education thing. Anybody who really, really knows me will know that learning comes naturally to me. I don't have to work for it or even put forth much effort. Aharon hates this, and I totally understand.

The college I'm at now is hard, or, at least that's what I've been told. It's degree - among Catholics - is considered very prestigious. I'm not sure how it fares in the real world, though. All I know is that it was affordable, in my price range, and they transferred every single credit I had. You can't argue with that.

While some of the classes have been challenging - like the religion class - others aren't a big deal. Sitting down and writing a big paper in 8 weeks when I'm more on a schedule of 16 weeks was an adjustment, but it's of no concern to me now.

Long story short, I don't really do the assigned reading. I skim each chapter, read the summaries and review terms, and I read the professor's lectures through. So I know the material. But I don't feel the need to spend 2 hours reading a book that will just get regurgitated to me through the review terms and lectures.

Anyway, last night I took my final. Open book. I had an hour. I went through and answered what I knew, then spent time looking up the ones I wasn't sure of. I had time left over, so I went back and looked up ones I had answered on my own just to double check. I submitted the exam with 3 minutes remaining.

I got a 65%.

How is that even possible?

And don't tell me that's what I get for not reading. I have never and will never do the assigned reading. And I've gotten through life with a pretty high GPA so far.

The Current Debate

1. Very, very small one bedroom apartment with no distinction between the kitchen and living room, but a significant chuck of money to put into savings every month...
   or
2. Large two bedroom apartment with a big kitchen and a big living room but every single penny budgeted each month and not much going into savings.
   

If I knew what to name this I probably wouldn't be sitting here doing nothing.

Sometimes, I think I try to justify or understand younger people's actions by thinking back to when I was that age and asking myself I would have perhaps done the same thing or not. Because if so, maybe everything will turn out okay.

This is not one of those situations.

Mean Girl (Just one...me)

I'm going to lunch with Aharon's sister tomorrow. There are things I need to apologize for and make right with her. She's going to be my sister-in-law, after all, and I'm going to be her child's only aunt! It's time for me to grow up and be the bigger person here.

I am really excited!

Why I Am Not Good at Accomplishing Things On Time

I think the most difficult thing about wedding planning is not the staying under-budget part. It's the time management part. Seriously. I suck at that so bad.

1. We need to meet with the photographer and figure out what's going on with that!
   
2. I need to email the caterer and get an idea of how tables will be set up so that I can order tulle, lights, and candles for the tables.
   
3. I also need to order whatever I'm going to decorate the church with!
   
4. I need to sign a contract with somebody for my great fiasco alternative idea. Since Aharon didn't like my original idea.
   
5. We need to FIND AN APARTMENT.
6. Aharon needs to find a suit and shoes that he likes.
7. We need to find ties for all the guys.
8. I need to figure out what I'm doing for wedding party flowers and get them ordered.
9. Shower invitations need to be finished and mailed.
   
10. We need to get wedding invitations assembled and mailed pretty soon.
11. I need to produce the slide show...which also involves hours of scanning in pictures from the 20 years or so that Aharon and I lived through without digital cameras.

Also, I need to write a research paper...in the next 8 days. I haven't started yet.

And Aharon works about 50 hours a week so finding time for him and I to work together is never going to happen!

And...Bummer.

I picked up my wedding dress. It's too tight on my chest. I'm now uber-depressed.

Ten Random Thoughts Because I Haven't Posted Lately

1. I want my wedding to be whimsical. That is now officially my goal. I don't care if other people hate it or think I'm crazy. It will be absolutely adorable to me.
   
2. I hate the feel of paper on my fingers. It is ironic that my jobs have always involved paper.
3. It makes my day every single morning that I can wear whatever I want to work.
4. Fish with eyes that protrude from their heads are the second best pets ever.
5. Dogs are the first.
6. An air bubble in a pore strip defeats the purpose.
7. They never work anyway so I guess it doesn't matter.
8. I have to write a paper with a group over the next 6 weeks. The problem is that this group is online and I have no personal interaction with these people.
9. I think my Bonsai tree is dying and I don't know why. Plants - and trees, apparently - just like to die when they are in my care.
   
10. I have less than two months to downsize my stuff and move most of it to an apartment. I sometimes don't know how I will part with things. I also don't know how I will avoid buying new things.
    

This is exactly what I knew was coming.

My friends frequently have to tell me to stop talking about politics. (I tend to get a little over-enthusiastic.)

I registered to vote the the Monday after my 18th birthday back in 2003. I have voted in every single election since then, whether it was for local candidates or for the president. It's my right and if I want to have an opinion about politics, then I need to vote.

Originally, I was hoping and praying for Mitt Romney to win the presidential race, although I knew from the beginning it would be a long shot. When McCain received the nomination and announced Palin as his running mate, though, I was sold. (This should be evident by the pink bumper sticker on my car which will remain until a Republican is back in office.)

I really hope that I do not offend anyone by what I'm about to say here, but this is my blog and I can voice my opinions - but only because I voted.

Yes, I saw the comic in the New York Post. Yes, I thought it was funny. No, I don't think anyone needed to apologize for it. Here's why:

1. The stimulus bill/economic recovery bill/whatever-you-want-to-call-it bill might as well have been written by a monkey. It will not do any good. Inflation is going to sky-rocket. The people who are out of the job right now will not be getting a job thanks to the bill. That means that Aharon won't be getting a job because of this bill. Why? Because the money is going to create jobs with existing companies who are going to give more work to their existing workers, not hire in new ones. The insinuation in the comic that the monkey could have written the next bill was funny. Hands down. No exceptions.
2. Obama looks like a monkey. This is not racist. A family who used to attend my church - that I miss very much - had a little girl. She, with her porcelain white skin and light blond hair - looked like a monkey. George Bush even looked like a monkey! Some people look like monkeys and it has nothing to do with the skin color, place of birth, or anything else.
3. Perhaps the author meant it to be racist. Getting all upset about it isn't going to help. I would respect people a lot more if they could laugh at themselves and get over things. I understand that slavery was horrible. I don't doubt that or discredit it. But it's been years. Let's move on, people.
   

I was not happy about the idea of Obama as president. This is not simply because he was black or even because he was a democrat, but rather because of the eventual racism that would appear in full force. And I'm not talking about white people being racists against black people. It goes both ways, and unfortunately I think it works a little harder against white people lately.

So let the hating begin. Now that we have a black president every single thing is white people being racist. And that is exactly why I am sad about having a black president. You had your day of celebration. Now let's move on. It's over. He's just one more president in a very long line that will continue after him.

I think that this country has gone above and beyond when it comes to making things right for slavery and for all the inconsistencies of decades ago. But we've made it right. Years of affirmative action, for one! The fact that my brothers and I were not able to get scholarships because everything required you to be a minority. How's that for not fair?!

If the next four to eight (and I pray to God every day that it's not eight) years continue like this, with a weekly break in reality for some bitch session about how black people are treated and how all us ignorant white people should apologize for the rest of our lives and suffer because of it, then this country is certainly not behaving in the way it should. We are all equal. But when these kind of things become headline news, I don't feel equal. I feel like black people hate me even though I did nothing.

So guess what, I'm going to bitch about how all us white people are treated.

Enjoy!

It's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't care.

The wedding planning is coming along nicely, for the most part. We have a date, place, caterer, hall, and a bunch of ideas floating around in my head. We still need to find a photographer and figure out the flower/decoration stuff and figure out all the shower info.

But really, it's not that I'm worried about offending people or anything like that. I just really don't care. I don't care what we eat at my shower. Serve popsicles for all I care. I don't care what time of day it is. I. Don't. Care.

I don't want this to be some crazy huge expense and to stress people out. I just want it to be enjoyable.

The only things I stand firm on are my dress, my flowers, and not having a ring bearer or flower girl.

At the end of the day, when Aharon and I are married, that's all that counts.

I vote that somebody is stealing the mail!!

It's no secret that this economy is causing everyone - individuals and businesses - to have some cash flow issues lately.

It's also no secret that the US Postal Service has been talking about cutting mail delivery down to 5 days a week due to budgetary constraints. I personally think that the government should get its hands out of everything and let the postal service be privatized. I think it would run a lot better that way.

Case-in-point:

Last Friday, exactly one week ago, we (The Accounting Department at my place of employment) mailed out 40 checks. Most of the checks were going to vendors who had been patiently waiting while we dealt with some end-of-quarter cash flow problems. All of these vendors were either insurance providers or vendors who had been waiting for the checks in order to release shipment on parts or material that we were waiting for in order to do business.

As of today, not a single one of those checks has been delivered. This includes vendors in Chesterfield, MI and Newark, NJ. Not a single person has a check. If things were running slow and there were big weather problems I might be able to understand out-of-state deliveries taking a full week. But in-state? Even in-county?! I mean, Chesterfield is a 20 minute drive from here!!

The Post Office here in Memphis is actually located in our building. They rent from us! My mom also informed me earlier this week that someone from the city had taken some packages to the post office on Friday to be mailed to city council members. As of their meeting on Wednesday, none of them had received those packages. My mom's wasn't delivered yesterday or today either. There's really no excuse for mail going from Memphis, MI to Memphis, MI to not be delivered the very next day.

We took the matter up with our post office. They assured us that while rare, occasionally this does happen and those checks will show up and be delivered soon. They also guaranteed us they had left that particular post office.

So I called Royal Oak. That's where all of our local incoming mail is postmarked as being from. They told me that they no longer sort our mail and to call Pontiac. So I did. They wouldn't answer the phone. I've left four messages and have not gotten any replies.

Something fishy is going on here, and if it doesn't clear up soon we are going to be in trouble. Without those checks, vendors won't release shipments, and without shipments, we will eventually run out of the materials we need to continue operations.

Some Random Thoughts About Getting Married

1. Not being able to spend money on whatever I feel like after I get married worries me a little. It may take some getting used to.
2. Having to prepare three meals a day for us is something that I think may require more time than I feel like giving it.
3. School is going to be even more distracting than it is now.
4. I'm afraid my need to clean will take up more time than I have to give it.
5. For the first few months, I'm sure I will live in panic about how much our utility bills are going to cost.
   
6. It's not that I don't like coffee, it's just that I don't want to drink it. I prefer pop.
7. Life would be a little more comfortable if we didn't have to pay for phones and Internet access, but I don't know how we would accomplish anything without them.
8. What if changing my name turns into a huge nightmare much like we go through anytime we have to use Aharon's social security number and they begin to question why it was issued by immigration?
9. I think I will have to stop coloring my hair after we get married. It just seems like a foolish way to spend $30 every two months. We could go on a date instead.
10. I'm really going to miss my dog.
    

Uncomfortable Situation, Meet Sarah!

Back in high school, I went through what I like to refer to as "the dark ages." Looking back, I regret pretty much everything about high school and talking about it makes me feel like some stupid misinformed kid. I don't really talk about my high school experiences because I do not enjoy reflecting on them. Plus, I come from a family that does not talk about uncomfortable circumstances. So, it seems natural to me.

I went to a private school for kindergarten, a second private school through fourth grade, was home schooled for fifth grade, and then went to a third private school for sixth through ninth grades. Up until the last school, I had no complaints. I less-than-affectionately referred to the school (NLCA) as the "nasty little crackhead association."

I have always been a leader and not at all a follower. The cliques at NLCA were formed before I got there. Some of those kids had been in school together since kindergarten and they weren't about to let newcomers in. They did, eventually, and I even made some pretty good friends. I still talk with some of them from time to time. However, I was miserable. I felt like because the school was so small, we were forced to be friends with people we would never be friends with on our own. After much debate with my parents, they allowed me to switch to public school for the remainder of my high school years.

Things went downhill from there. Public school was worse than the last private school. Those kids all drew up together. There wasn't room for new kids. Sure, I made some friends. I'm marrying one of them soon! But it wasn't what I expected and it wasn't a situation that I enjoyed. I felt like I had no friends and that nobody understood how difficult the adjustment was. I ended up getting into self injury.

Back then, 8 years ago, it wasn't the thing it is now. Apparently, now, it's a pretty common thing. Why? Because kids talk about it and they hear about it from others. I had never heard of it. I thought I was the only person in the world.

But, I get it. I understand why it helps and why it appeals to so many people. Anyway, some people at school found out and I ended up in counseling. It helped, but ultimately I had to overcome it on my own.

I was not aware that most people knew this about me.

Until Sunday.

The wife of the youth leader at my church called. They have a girl in youth group who has been struggling with it and they just don't know what to say to her. They asked if she would be willing to talk to someone about it who was familiar with it, and she said yes with no hesitation.

So Wednesday night, I have to go to youth group to meet with this girl that I do not know and talk to her about something that I have not talked about in 5 years...something that I do not want to talk about because it is a time in my life that I wish had never happened.

Great.

A New Political Stance

Obama has been president for like 8 days, right? I'm already fed up. I knew I was going to be, but I decided to give him a decent chance. I think it took like 24 hours. So rather than spending every day in a state of annoyance and disgust, I'm attempting to simply become apathetic. I don't think I will actually accomplish that goal, but I do look forward to hearing an Obama-voter complian so I can remind them that they voted for him thus they can't complian. I voted for Bush and I did not complian about his decisions.

So what am I supposed to do? I feel like everything in the world is against me lately. My country is digging itself into a hole, my school is accusing me of being a closed-minded fundamentalist, and although the housing market is dropping, rent is apparently soaring. Six-hundred square feet for $450 a month? I could buy a house for that price. I did find a nice little gem: 820 square feet, 2 bedrooms, $500 a month. The problem? Aharon's unemployed and I don't want to assume he'll find a job before July. This is Michigan, after all.

My dad was a little concerned when I told him that I passed up on contributing to a 401(k) for the year. My reasoning? Everything lost money last year. Not one plan that was presented to me actually made any money or even broke even. Wouldn't my money be better spent keeping me out of debt? Because wouldn't being debt-free and married at 23 put us a little ahead of the game? Yeah, yeah. Retirement. Do I actually expect "retirement" to still be a concept in 50 years? Probably not. Besides, all those target retirement date plans are designed for someone who is 25. Get back to me in two years, people!

I don't even understand why I'm not being permitted to cash in my matured savings bonds from when I was born. The government's interest rate is like almost zero, right? So wouldn't that money be better off in my ING savings account? Last time I checked, 2.4% is much higher than .02%.

So, maybe the super-tiny ghetto apartment for $340 a month will have to do for now. Think of how much we can save up while we wait for my parents to move or my dad's job to get relocated! Why buy a house now that we don't really like when we can buy a house we love in a few years?

Sometimes I wish people would just let me do what I want to do.

January 18, 2009

If there's still anybody in the world who hasn't heard, Aharon and I are engaged! I am so excited, nervous, happy, and five million other emotions right now.

We are planning, at least for now, on getting married on Friday, July 3, 2009. This would be our five year anniversary. We thought that was fitting, and since we've been together so long anyway and are pretty low-maintenance people, we don't feel the need for a long engagement.

And the details: Aharon and I have been talking about getting married for quite some time now, so I was expecting this but he still managed to surprise me. I had been trying to leave weekends open in case he was planning something I wasn't aware of, but this weekend just filled up too fast. I had hours of work to finish up, school to catch up on, and family and friends to see. By Saturday night, I was positive that another engagement-free weekend had come and gone.

But then Sunday rolled around. What a great day! We went to church, went to my Uncle's house for my Grandma's birthday, and then went out to dinner with our friends Jack and Michelle and their 14 month-old daughter. And then, around 9 at night, we got back to my house. We got out of my car and Aharon ran over to his and promptly started it. Usually on weekends he stays at my house until 10 or 11, so leaving at 9 was strange, but I figured he was tired. He came inside to say hello to my parents and grab his xbox, and then he told me that he had to get home before the roads got bad again. And then he said, "But before I go, will you marry me?"

Let it be known that I did not cry! Rather, I jumped up and down and screamed and hugged and kissed him.

So, the next few months are sure to be very busy. I can't believe how much goes into planning a wedding. I thought all along that if you kept it small and simple it wasn't so much work. Our immediate families and closest friends alone total more than 100 people! It's going to be tough.

But, in a few months, I'm going to marry my best friend. I couldn't be happier.

Really?

(no more lostprophet titles for now)

Not everyone in their 20s should be in college, mister! You know why?! Because college is not free, as you put it. Yes, there are scholarships and government grants and all that crap but sometimes the people who need that don't get it. So get over yourself! Maybe someone in their 20s will do the job better than someone in their 30s with a college education. You'll never know unless you try, jerk.

Goodbye Tonight

(3 for 3!!)

With the sole exception of going to church, I did nothing productive today.

The Politics of Emotion

I'm going to see how many posts I can get in 2009 that have a Lostprophets' song title as the entry title. So far I'm 2 for 2!

I am now back to work after my incredibly busy two week layoff. Had I not been laid off from December 20 through January 4th, I may have had to take all that time off anyway, as such is usually the case.

I am also back to school. This was really the part of January that I was dreading. I don't think I have the following traits which are necessary for online schooling:

1. An attention span
2. Discipline
3. Time management skills
4. The ability to do school when I would rather do any of the following:

• Playing video games. Specifically: Animal Crossing City Folk
• Watch TV on DVD.
• Sit on my bed - thinking about what I should be doing for school - and watch Aharon play video games.
• Clean. Yes. I like to clean. It's almost unhealthy how much I like to clean. But only if it's my mess. I don't like cleaning up after others.

I think all of those bullet points as well as item #4 lead me back to item #1.

I really want to make a bunch of lists. For what purpose, I do not know. But I want to.

New Shoes Won't Save You This Time

January.

Tomorrow is Aharon's little sister's wedding. That's all I have to say about that.

Monday I am back to work! I am pleased to report that I am actually happy that I am going back to work on Monday. I enjoyed my two weeks off as best as possible. Attending a funeral was not something I planned on doing over those two weeks, but life and death are unpredictable.

School for me starts back up on Saturday, but since I will be dealing with the wedding all day, I'm not officially starting until Sunday. I logged in last night and read through all my assignments so I have an idea of what needs to be completed over the next 8 weeks. I am honestly and truly terrified of taking this class. It's called Scripture and Society. And in case you didn't know, I go to a private Catholic University. I read the preface to our "textbook" last night and I was unimpressed. The textbook literally states that the problem with "religion" in our modern society is that so many people still "see the Bible as the inerrant and infallible Word of God." Kill. Me. Now.

Lucky for me, I have the associate pastor at my church reading the textbook along with me. Also, my friend Kadie's boyfriend Chris (a recent theology school graduate) is in Michigan and unemployed at the moment, which means he can help me write my papers in exchange for some high-speed internet access for his Playstation 3.