Some Random Thoughts About Getting Married

1. Not being able to spend money on whatever I feel like after I get married worries me a little. It may take some getting used to.
2. Having to prepare three meals a day for us is something that I think may require more time than I feel like giving it.
3. School is going to be even more distracting than it is now.
4. I'm afraid my need to clean will take up more time than I have to give it.
5. For the first few months, I'm sure I will live in panic about how much our utility bills are going to cost.
   
6. It's not that I don't like coffee, it's just that I don't want to drink it. I prefer pop.
7. Life would be a little more comfortable if we didn't have to pay for phones and Internet access, but I don't know how we would accomplish anything without them.
8. What if changing my name turns into a huge nightmare much like we go through anytime we have to use Aharon's social security number and they begin to question why it was issued by immigration?
9. I think I will have to stop coloring my hair after we get married. It just seems like a foolish way to spend $30 every two months. We could go on a date instead.
10. I'm really going to miss my dog.
    

Uncomfortable Situation, Meet Sarah!

Back in high school, I went through what I like to refer to as "the dark ages." Looking back, I regret pretty much everything about high school and talking about it makes me feel like some stupid misinformed kid. I don't really talk about my high school experiences because I do not enjoy reflecting on them. Plus, I come from a family that does not talk about uncomfortable circumstances. So, it seems natural to me.

I went to a private school for kindergarten, a second private school through fourth grade, was home schooled for fifth grade, and then went to a third private school for sixth through ninth grades. Up until the last school, I had no complaints. I less-than-affectionately referred to the school (NLCA) as the "nasty little crackhead association."

I have always been a leader and not at all a follower. The cliques at NLCA were formed before I got there. Some of those kids had been in school together since kindergarten and they weren't about to let newcomers in. They did, eventually, and I even made some pretty good friends. I still talk with some of them from time to time. However, I was miserable. I felt like because the school was so small, we were forced to be friends with people we would never be friends with on our own. After much debate with my parents, they allowed me to switch to public school for the remainder of my high school years.

Things went downhill from there. Public school was worse than the last private school. Those kids all drew up together. There wasn't room for new kids. Sure, I made some friends. I'm marrying one of them soon! But it wasn't what I expected and it wasn't a situation that I enjoyed. I felt like I had no friends and that nobody understood how difficult the adjustment was. I ended up getting into self injury.

Back then, 8 years ago, it wasn't the thing it is now. Apparently, now, it's a pretty common thing. Why? Because kids talk about it and they hear about it from others. I had never heard of it. I thought I was the only person in the world.

But, I get it. I understand why it helps and why it appeals to so many people. Anyway, some people at school found out and I ended up in counseling. It helped, but ultimately I had to overcome it on my own.

I was not aware that most people knew this about me.

Until Sunday.

The wife of the youth leader at my church called. They have a girl in youth group who has been struggling with it and they just don't know what to say to her. They asked if she would be willing to talk to someone about it who was familiar with it, and she said yes with no hesitation.

So Wednesday night, I have to go to youth group to meet with this girl that I do not know and talk to her about something that I have not talked about in 5 years...something that I do not want to talk about because it is a time in my life that I wish had never happened.

Great.

A New Political Stance

Obama has been president for like 8 days, right? I'm already fed up. I knew I was going to be, but I decided to give him a decent chance. I think it took like 24 hours. So rather than spending every day in a state of annoyance and disgust, I'm attempting to simply become apathetic. I don't think I will actually accomplish that goal, but I do look forward to hearing an Obama-voter complian so I can remind them that they voted for him thus they can't complian. I voted for Bush and I did not complian about his decisions.

So what am I supposed to do? I feel like everything in the world is against me lately. My country is digging itself into a hole, my school is accusing me of being a closed-minded fundamentalist, and although the housing market is dropping, rent is apparently soaring. Six-hundred square feet for $450 a month? I could buy a house for that price. I did find a nice little gem: 820 square feet, 2 bedrooms, $500 a month. The problem? Aharon's unemployed and I don't want to assume he'll find a job before July. This is Michigan, after all.

My dad was a little concerned when I told him that I passed up on contributing to a 401(k) for the year. My reasoning? Everything lost money last year. Not one plan that was presented to me actually made any money or even broke even. Wouldn't my money be better spent keeping me out of debt? Because wouldn't being debt-free and married at 23 put us a little ahead of the game? Yeah, yeah. Retirement. Do I actually expect "retirement" to still be a concept in 50 years? Probably not. Besides, all those target retirement date plans are designed for someone who is 25. Get back to me in two years, people!

I don't even understand why I'm not being permitted to cash in my matured savings bonds from when I was born. The government's interest rate is like almost zero, right? So wouldn't that money be better off in my ING savings account? Last time I checked, 2.4% is much higher than .02%.

So, maybe the super-tiny ghetto apartment for $340 a month will have to do for now. Think of how much we can save up while we wait for my parents to move or my dad's job to get relocated! Why buy a house now that we don't really like when we can buy a house we love in a few years?

Sometimes I wish people would just let me do what I want to do.

January 18, 2009

If there's still anybody in the world who hasn't heard, Aharon and I are engaged! I am so excited, nervous, happy, and five million other emotions right now.

We are planning, at least for now, on getting married on Friday, July 3, 2009. This would be our five year anniversary. We thought that was fitting, and since we've been together so long anyway and are pretty low-maintenance people, we don't feel the need for a long engagement.

And the details: Aharon and I have been talking about getting married for quite some time now, so I was expecting this but he still managed to surprise me. I had been trying to leave weekends open in case he was planning something I wasn't aware of, but this weekend just filled up too fast. I had hours of work to finish up, school to catch up on, and family and friends to see. By Saturday night, I was positive that another engagement-free weekend had come and gone.

But then Sunday rolled around. What a great day! We went to church, went to my Uncle's house for my Grandma's birthday, and then went out to dinner with our friends Jack and Michelle and their 14 month-old daughter. And then, around 9 at night, we got back to my house. We got out of my car and Aharon ran over to his and promptly started it. Usually on weekends he stays at my house until 10 or 11, so leaving at 9 was strange, but I figured he was tired. He came inside to say hello to my parents and grab his xbox, and then he told me that he had to get home before the roads got bad again. And then he said, "But before I go, will you marry me?"

Let it be known that I did not cry! Rather, I jumped up and down and screamed and hugged and kissed him.

So, the next few months are sure to be very busy. I can't believe how much goes into planning a wedding. I thought all along that if you kept it small and simple it wasn't so much work. Our immediate families and closest friends alone total more than 100 people! It's going to be tough.

But, in a few months, I'm going to marry my best friend. I couldn't be happier.

Really?

(no more lostprophet titles for now)

Not everyone in their 20s should be in college, mister! You know why?! Because college is not free, as you put it. Yes, there are scholarships and government grants and all that crap but sometimes the people who need that don't get it. So get over yourself! Maybe someone in their 20s will do the job better than someone in their 30s with a college education. You'll never know unless you try, jerk.

Goodbye Tonight

(3 for 3!!)

With the sole exception of going to church, I did nothing productive today.

The Politics of Emotion

I'm going to see how many posts I can get in 2009 that have a Lostprophets' song title as the entry title. So far I'm 2 for 2!

I am now back to work after my incredibly busy two week layoff. Had I not been laid off from December 20 through January 4th, I may have had to take all that time off anyway, as such is usually the case.

I am also back to school. This was really the part of January that I was dreading. I don't think I have the following traits which are necessary for online schooling:

1. An attention span
2. Discipline
3. Time management skills
4. The ability to do school when I would rather do any of the following:

• Playing video games. Specifically: Animal Crossing City Folk
• Watch TV on DVD.
• Sit on my bed - thinking about what I should be doing for school - and watch Aharon play video games.
• Clean. Yes. I like to clean. It's almost unhealthy how much I like to clean. But only if it's my mess. I don't like cleaning up after others.

I think all of those bullet points as well as item #4 lead me back to item #1.

I really want to make a bunch of lists. For what purpose, I do not know. But I want to.